Keep Your Eye on the Pace Car(s)

Posted on November 27, 2011 by funnygal

If you have kids, you have probably taken your eyes off the road from time to time.

When my kids were little I took my eyes off the road all the time.  I hated when seasoned moms reminded me to keep my eyes on the road.  Oh, they didn’t say it quite like that.  Rather, it was in the form of  ”enjoy this time, it will pass so quickly!”  “Are you kidding me?”  I thought.  Back then, I couldn’t make time go fast enough.  The road dragged on.  Play-dough and play dates were the entire agenda, at least besides feeding, toileting, and sleeping.  I woke up wondering how I was going to fill the day as well as keep my sanity (what little I had left).  It felt like driving through Kansas.  No matter how far you drive you don’t feel like you are getting anywhere.

By the time my eldest son went to high school life had kicked into high gear. It was nearly impossible to keep my eyes on the road.   Activities had overtaken our previously blank calendar, and I hit the floor every morning wondering how I was going to cram everything into the allotted 24 hours without a pit stop.    I wasn’t sure if I was coming or going, like a NASCAR driver in last place, unsure if I was at the head of the pack or being lapped by everyone else.

I needed something then and I still need it now: something to slow me down.  A pace car.  An emotional pace car.  My pace car comes in the form of gratitude and perspective.  (Ok, I need two pace cars.  I have a lead foot and tend to “go around”).  Gratitude and perspective slow me down enough to ”recalculate” and tank up so I can keep my way straight and steady for the long haul.

In parenthood, there really is no checkered flag (engine failure not withstanding) just a starting wave and a few caution flags along the way.  I’ve seen a lots of cars go off the road, a collision or two, and quite a few skid marks along the way (after all, I have three boys…). So the road can seem endless and meandering, and frustrating.

However, when I allow my pace cars to guide me, the ride takes on new meaning, not to mention a cargo load of  joy.  Instead of hurrying to the finish, I think about where I have gone, and where I am going. I delight in the passengers I have along with me, and how wonderful it is to be on the journey with them.  My eyes and my heart are fully on the road, wherever it may lead.  When I lose my way,  and rush for the sake of crossing a finish line, my pace cars remind me that the journey IS the finish line, and if I don’t slow down, I just might miss it.

What helps YOU keep your eyes on the road?

 

 

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It’s “All Good”

Posted on November 17, 2011 by funnygal

I hurried home to meet the salesman from All Good for our appointed “no obligation estimate” on windows.  I’ve  wanted a garden window in my kitchen for years, and my savings account and husband have converged with the go-ahead.  A widened view over my back yard was so close I could almost touch it!

Before I could finish telling Mr. Sales Pitch  what I needed he told me he could not give me a price because Hubby was not there.  What? Are you kidding?  This is not 1950.   I am fully capable of writing a check without my husband looking over my shoulder.  A rigorous discussion ensued over why this was the case, and in the end, I booted Mr. No Good off my property and out of my checkbook forever.  His loss.

But was it really?

Furious, I started to dial up Hubby when I realized my pulse was rapid and my face was flushed.  The high pressure salesman had not only left my driveway without my money, he had also stolen something from me ~ my joy.

It wasn’t really his fault, I let it happen.

I had let indignation chip away at my greatest commodity.  In the same way, I have insidiously allowed people who don’t wave when I give them passage in traffic permission to pinch a little cheer out of my soul.  Absent manners and incompetent cashiers are both unknowing thieves  I’ve allowed to sneak into my most precious storehouse, the vault of peace within my mind. It’s subtle, but it happens every day, in some slight form or another, without fanfare or warning.  My solace is dispersed to the universe.

Within a few days, I will lose a dear and precious friend to the enemy we call cancer.  She is done with the days of dealing with sales pitches and road rage.  She is young.  It doesn’t seem fair that she would be done.   I wish she had more time.  It makes me think of my time, and what I am going to do with the rest of the days I have left here on earth until I see my friend in Heaven.

And I pick up the book I am reading “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp, and the words hit me like a sales pitch to the heart: ”I gasp for more time, frantic for more time.  But I have to wonder: more time for more what?  The answer to that determines the road these so-short days take.”

So-short days.  More time for what?  A great question to greet each day with.

I am not always sure of the “what”, but I am sure of the “what not”.  I am not going to spend the rest of my so-short days letting my joy be robbed, and my peace be stolen by those who unintentionally (or intentionally) try to.  The road to the end is shorter than any of us realize, and the joy with which it is paved is up to me and no one else.  Today I choose to take back the keys of my peace from the circumstances and people I have loaned them to over the years.

Yes, that is a sales pitch that is truly “all good.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Ties that Double-Bind

Posted on June 29, 2011 by funnygal

I hate double binds, don’t you?  It seems like every other day a situation comes up where I am caught between choices and somehow, someone is disappointed in the choice I make,  even if that someone is me.

Take last week for example: I wanted to get back to writing my book and making real headway towards the submission of my manuscript.  The week was open and my head plans were set, that is, until we received a call asking if we could take in a teenage boy in a crisis situation.  It was a short interruption, four days in length, but an interruption none the less.  I counted it all joy to be of help, but I also counted the moments until I could get back to writing.

The lawn continued to grow during that time, so mowing and weeding were necessary to avoid looking like the Clampetts, so there goes another half a day.  In addition,the mouths in the family zoo continued to open for feeding,  and the food doesn’t walk in by itself.  I want to provide nutritious food on a budget, but fast food isn’t healthy, and food high in nutrients isn’t cheap.  As I chopped and stirred at the stove, I saw my dreams of a completed manuscript vaporize like the steam off the vegetables.

Once the dishes were humming away in the dishwasher and the grass stains set soaking in the tub, the family beckoned me to sit down for a movie and spend time with them.  Tomorrow my sons will be one day closer to leaving the nest, and one of them is only home for a few days this summer as it is, so I acquiesce to their loving request.  On the screen I watch the show, but in my head I see a different screen waiting to be revised and submitted to the ever-waiting publisher.

At the end of the day, my husband asks how close I am to actually making money from the book which is sitting left unfinished.  Not one inch closer, and that is the truth.  And somehow I suspect tomorrow will be no different.

Someone will need me.  Someone will be unhappy if I am not there.  Someone will ask if I can help them do something that is not in alignment with my career goals and I will say yes to them, knowing that true ministry does not always come in the form of a manuscript, but is scripted moment by moment in the serving of others.   And at the end of the day, when someone asks me how much I earned, I will have to answer “a lot”, knowing that my currency and theirs are not always the same, and hoping they are okay with that.

What kind of double bind are you facing today?

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